Inconvenient Wife Page 19

  Right?

  “Beau? You are freaking me out. Are you okay ?”

  “Fine. I’m fine.” My voice is a croak .

  My cancellation of the wedding means I won’t get a marriage certificate. I won’t get a loan, and I won’t be able to buy Rhys Thomas’ boat equipment .

  And I don’t care .

  The thought I could lose Gracie out of my life is so much more agonizing to me that I cannot even understand how I’ve been so blind .

  I check my phone. Two bars, thank Christ .

  I immediately open my email and the outbox is empty. Please God, let them have sent .

  But there’s nothing in sent mail yet .

  Maybe my server is having a problem updating since there’s spotty service out here .

  I crack open a beer and down the whole lot in one gulp .

  “Congratulations to me,” I say aloud, and Eileen cocks her head. “I may or may not be married. And I may or may not have lost the love of my life .”

  Alone with my thoughts and mistakes and not knowing the fall out is a humbling experience. Eileen is useless at offering any meaningful advice. But it doesn’t stop me from explaining the whole sorry tale to her .

  “Gracie, come in, over .”

  “Beau. Go ahead .”

  “Talk to me .”

  “What about ?”

  “Anything. I want to hear your voice .”

  “Beau, you are seriously freaking me out. Are you having some kind of nervous breakdown ?”

  “You have no idea .”

  “Okay, that’s it. We’re stopping in Seabrook .”

  “No, I’m fine. Really. Just talk to me.” I grapple for a subject. “Tell me about your date on Tuesday night.” God, I don’t want to hear about that at all. I wince .

  “My date? I didn’t have a date .”

  “Your dad said you did .”

  “Oh. Right. I told him I was on a date because I was actually breaking into his house .”

  “Um, I think we have static. It sounded like you said you were breaking into his house, over .”

  “Ten-four. That is exactly what I said .”

  I chuckle. “Um. Why ?”

  “Sorry to leave you in suspense, but have you looked port-side recently ?”

  I look to my left. Clouds were gathering ominously on the horizon. “Roger. I see them .”

  “Think we can outrun them ?”

  “Not if we stop in Seabrook .”

  “Roger. What about the storm in Walterboro ?”

  I look to the right, inland, and it doesn’t look great either. Sheet lightning lights up the horizon in a series of flashes .

  “I’m strapping Eileen down. I think we need to pick up the pace .”

  “I thought this weather wasn’t coming in until tomorrow .”

  “You and me both .”

  * * *

  Eileen hates being strapped down and cries pitifully. But the speed of the boat is such that I don’t want to take the chance of us hitting a wave wrong. I could hold on. She could not. I’d put her down in the cabin, but that freaks her out even more. She needs to stay with her human in a doggy life vest .

  The rain starts as we pass Edisto. The emergency weather radio emits a high pitched alarm with an alert from the National Weather Center who’ve just issued a small craft advisory. I know this kind of thing freaks Gwen out. As much as she loves boating and being on the water, she panics in moments like this. Normally we’re together, and I can stay calm for her sake, even if I too am secretly worried .

  “You okay up there?” I radio. “This came out of nowhere .”

  “I’m okay. We should cut in here and go around the back of the island .”

  “It will take longer than going through Fripp Inlet .”

  “It’s safer. I need to get off the open water .”

  “Roger. I’m with you, let’s get there in one piece .”

  The water is getting choppier and choppier. And it’s low tide, which means ever changing sandbars around here. Especially at the speed we’re going, they are a major hazard .

  I know Gracie is scared .

  “Gracie? I’ve got you. I won’t let anything happen, okay ?”

  “Roger that, Beau. Thank you .”

  “One more thing, over .”

  “Go ahead .”

  I want to tell her how I feel, but the words seem so inconsequential right now. And what is she going to do with the knowledge anyway? For all I know I could be married. And if I am, she can never know how I feel. She needs to be free to find her own happiness .

  “Watch for sandbars,” I say. “If you go straight from here, we should be fine. And put your life jacket on .”

  “Roger that .”

  * * *

  It takes another forty-five minutes in driving rain and a churning sea to get around past Harbor Island into the Inland Waterway and then maneuver between Hunting Island State Park where we used to camp on the beach when we were in our twenties, to approach Fripp Inlet from the other direction. We almost have to head out to open sea again before cutting into Old House Creek that will take us to the Fripp Island marina. I radio the harbormaster when I think we are close enough. It’s best they know to expect us, in case something happens between here and there .

  The visibility is for shit. And I have to be honest, I am fucking terrified something is going to go wrong .

  I can barely see Gwen, and I hope she’s going the right way because wherever she goes, I’m headed too. Luckily her life jacket is bright pink .

  Eileen is soaked and shivering, but she’s stopped whimpering. I’m crooning to her and petting her as best I can over the wind and rain while still maneuvering the boat .

  Ninety minutes after the first raindrop, we’re approaching the marina, and the rain finally slows to a drizzle

  I can hear Gwen calling the harbormaster over the radio, and I hear him guiding her in .

  The relief is overwhelming, but I try and keep it in check until I’m on stable ground .

  The water is still rolling even though the rain has let up, so getting tied up in a slip is going to take a few tries. I put every buoy I have out to protect the hull from smashing against the dock and see Gwen has done the same. Then she’s coming to help me. She’s ditched her life-jacket and her sodden blue t-shirt is molded to her and showing every line of her. She’s taken her hat off, or she lost it in the wind, I don’t know which. Her hair is in wet ropes around her face. Her arms and legs are covered in goose flesh I can see even at this distance. Her lips are blue. And she has never looked more amazing to me .

  Eileen yelps when she sees a human she recognizes .

  “Poor girl,” Gwen cries .

  The harbormaster comes too, appropriately dressed in a yellow slicker. “Y’all are lucky to get out of this,” he calls .

  “Came down from Charleston. It came out of nowhere .”

  “These afternoon storms always do .”

  He grabs the bow rope I throw and Gracie grabs the stern. In moments, we’re secure and I’m handing Eileen over to Gwen and following onto solid ground. Damn, it feels good .

  The harbormaster holds out his hand and I shake it. “John,” he introduces himself. “Y’all go up to the Bonito and get yourself a drink and get warmed up and dried out. I’ll radio up that you were caught in the storm. With any luck they’ll let you bring the dog in .”

  “Thank you,” I tell him .

  Then I look at Gracie. She puts Eileen down and straightens. I grab her and wrap her soaking body up in my arms, pulling her close. I just need to hold her. I press my face into her sodden hair, then her neck. Her body shudders against mine .

  We stand there and I don’t want to let go .

  “Gracie.” My voice breaks .

  “I was so scared, Beau .”

  I lean back and then take her face in my hands. Her eyes are half closed, and she presses her cheek against one hand. Jesus, I want to kiss her so much. Her lips, even
blue and cold, look so soft and plump. Instead, I rest my forehead against hers. “I was too. So scared,” I admit. “God, you’re a beautiful sight .”

  “Beau,” she gasps my name .

  “I’m just so glad you’re okay. C’mon.” I release her reluctantly. “Let’s go get warmed up .”

  “We’re supposed to sleep on the boat tonight, and I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less .”

  Yeah, I’d had enough of the rocking too. “Maybe the sea will be calm later .”

  * * *

  Luckily, a call from John got us a spot inside, in a corner, so we can keep Eileen out of the way and charge our phones in the wall socket .

  We did our best to dry ourselves with hand towels in the bathroom, and then we both ordered a shot of brandy and a dinner of fried seafood and hushpuppies. Wine for her and beer for me. Outside the window, the storm has blown through, leaving us with a spectacular sunset over the creek and marshes .

  The world is washed clean and calm again .

  “Hey, remember that weekend we came down with those friends from college and stayed on Hunting Island?” Gwen asks, sipping her second glass of white wine. Her lips have warmed, and her hair is drying wild about her face. It reminds me of her sex hair .

  “I was thinking of that earlier today .”

  “When we were on the water just now? I don’t know how you thought of anything apart from how not to die.” She shudders, but she’s laughing .

  “I was thinking about you not dying too,” I say seriously .

  She smiles. “Anyway, we came a couple of times if you remember. Though the time we got a camp spot right on the edge of the beach was the best .”

  “We woke up and watched the sunrise. I remember .”

  “Everyone thought we were nuts to get up so early. Why don’t we ever come and do that anymore ?”

  “I don’t know. I guess we got jobs, and it seemed less easy to just get away .”

  “We’re here now,” she says, then her face falls. “But we don’t have a tent .”

  “Actually, I think I have my tent from the last time. We all came down on the boat, remember I had to beg and plead with my grandfather to borrow it? I don’t think I ever took the tent off.” But just one tent. It’s small. And suddenly I want very much to be in a small two-man tent with Gracie. And Eileen, but that’s a small price to pay .

  “Sleeping bag?” she asks .

  “If I do, it’ll just be one .”

  She bites her lip and looks down at her wineglass, her fingertip following a drop of condensation. I watch her closely. I can’t hear, but I think her breathing just got funny .

  It lights a flame inside me, and I feel myself hardening. But at the same time it makes my chest hurt .

  Jesus, it’s agonizing loving someone .

  Can I be in a two-man tent with her all night and not touch her ?

  I think of all the wasted years I’ve had of knowing her, being with her, falling asleep on her couch together. It’s a fucking tragedy .

  I suddenly remember Trystan trying to explain how he felt about Emmy the other night. That happened to him after a week. I try to extrapolate that to the depth of feeling and history I have with Gracie, and I’m humbled beneath the magnitude .

  “You okay ?”

  I realize I’m staring at Gracie in awe .

  Mentally flailing, I try and make light of it. “All at once everything is different, now that I see you ,” I quote .

  Her eyebrow quirks up. “Okay, Flynn Ryder. You really okay? Quoting Tangled and acting all sorts of weird. Come to think of it, you’ve been weird all day .”

  “Um. You look and see if you can book us a camp site, I need to check my email .”

  “It’s a long shot,” she says. “Those beach sites are booked a year in advance .”

  “Cancellations happen. Especially with the weather we just had .”

  I click on my email .

  I’m hoping for a miracle on every front .

  28

  Gwen

  I second-guessed my suggestion to camp on the beach even as it left my mouth .

  Beau was about to be married any day now. There was definitely a line I wouldn’t cross, even if it was a sham marriage. Beau and I would never be together the way we were last week once he was married .

  But who was I even kidding? Even if he wasn’t about to be married, I shouldn’t be wishing and hoping for anything, it was a dangerous road. But the truth was, today was scary as shit, and as he gathered me into his arms like he was terrified he’d never see me alive again, it did something to me. It gutted my heart but also turned me on from zero to white hot .

  I knew he wanted me again. I could see it, every time he looked at me. He didn’t realize how his eyes strayed down to my lips. Down my chest. The way his eyes tracked my fingers as they stroked the stem of my glass .

  Then he all but admitted it, with that Flynn Ryder comment .

  But the question was, could I do it again, when I knew it meant more to me than it did to him ?

  We were each playing with different currency, and someone was going to be ripped off. He wouldn’t mean it, but it would still happen .

  But everything seemed to be working out. A beach site had just freed up. And wonder of wonders, Harbormaster John offered to drive us over the causeway to Hunting Island. We bought some bottles of water and a flash light from him as well as a promise to pick us up the next day. We collected our overnight bags and Eileen’s food from our boats. Luckily, I’d stowed my bag in the watertight bench seat, otherwise I’d have had nothing warm and dry .

  Beau found his tent and sleeping bag, five leftover beers, and two granola bars we’d probably save for breakfast .

  “I’m so relieved not be on a rocking boat right now,” I said as we struggled to set up the tent in the waning light .

  “Me too. I’ve got this now, if you want to go to the wash house before to gets too dark ?”

  That was the good thing about camping here, they had a shed with toilets, showers, and running water. The campground seemed deserted, and I gathered the storm, plus the threat of more weather tomorrow had scuppered a lot of plans .

  I gasped in fright when I saw what I looked like in the cracked mirror. My hair was crazed. Drying in the humid air after an afternoon of wind and rain hadn’t been kind. I brushed it as best I could and tied it on top of my head, then took a quick hot shower, using my almost dry blue t-shirt to dry myself. Then I brushed my teeth and changed into a dry t-shirt and shorts. They were my shorts for tomorrow, but I could hardly walk through the campsite in a t-shirt and nothing else. I refastened my hair low on my nape, hoping it would continue to dry more smoothly than it had been .

  When I got back to the campsite, Beau had already been to the men’s shed. He was changed into a white t-shirt that molded to his muscles and soft jersey shorts .

  He put out food for Eileen. She hardly waited for it to touch the plastic bowl he’d brought before she’d gobbled it all down. Seeing him care for that sweet little mutt always made my ovaries twitch. Even if I couldn’t have him, I hoped one day, he would decide to have children .

  He looked up, and a massive smile spread across his face .

  “What’s up, smiley?” I asked, laughing at him. “You auditioning for a toothpaste commercial ?”

  He shrugged and stood. “I’m happy .”

  “Good.” I went to my bag and put my stuff back inside. Eileen totted back from doing some business in the thick vegetation and then curled around into a ball against Beau’s bag at the opening of the tent. “She’s exhausted.” The sound of the waves crashing reached us in the quiet night. “Pity we don’t have chairs to go sit on the beach .”

  “A little sand won’t hurt us.” He walked over and held out his hand. It was a super boyfriend thing to do. Not that Beau wasn’t affectionate .

  Bemused, I put out my hand to his and let him take it and lead me down to the beach. “You gotta see the star
s now that the storm has gone .”

  We stepped out from the tree line, and I looked up and gasped. “Wow .”

  “Quite something, huh ?”

  “Incredible,” I breathed as I walked blindly forward, my head tilted back on my shoulders. “I could stare for hours .”

  Beau stepped behind me. His arms snaked around my waist, and he rested me back against his chest. He felt good, and warm, and solid .

  I dropped my head back against his shoulder, it was the perfect height, and heard his breath catch close to my ear .

  “Gracie.” He breathed and rested his cheek against my temple .

  I wanted to look at the stars, but it felt so amazing being held like this against him that I wanted to close my eyes and pretend I was in my fantasy. My fantasy where we were in love. I slowly circled my arms around myself so I could hold him and keep his arms wrapped around me. It was indulgent, but today was scary and I needed this comfort. I wasn’t afraid to ask for it. Nor did it seem he didn’t want to give it .

  He breathed in deep against my hair, and it set goosebumps flaring up across my arms and neck .

  “Gracie,” he said again. I realized he’d called me this all day, and I hadn’t once corrected him .

  “Mmm,” I hummed. My toes were cool in the wet sand from the rain earlier. The moon was rising, casting a white slash across the black ocean, and bathing us in soft light .

  “I want to be free to build big, beautiful boats,” he spoke softly. “Or small boats. Fancy boats and simple boats. Boats that withstand a ruthless ocean like the sea today and ones that will do nothing but sit in port and look pretty. I want all that. I thought I didn’t have the luxury of wanting more than that right now. Except for one glaring thing. And that is wanting my best friend with me while I do it. It doesn’t mean anything without you. This week has felt like everything is slipping away … including you .”

  I squeezed his arms, letting him know I heard him. To remind him I was there. Still. I hadn’t slipped away .